On Eagle's Wings

This summer has been spent in deep prayer and discernment. It has been forty years since I began serving as a clergywoman in The United Methodist Church. This coming year will be my last before retirement.

 

I have listened for God’s voice as I have asked, “How can I serve well in this last year? What should I focus on? How can I bring my best self to all matters and relationships?” I opened myself up to the pain I carry, having broken a stained-glass ceiling. I have felt anger rise up in me about the lies that have been said about me that encouraged people to seek disaffiliation. And my heart was filled with so much joy as I thought of all the people I have been blessed to serve and be in ministry with.

 

In the sacred silence, as I listened for God’s still, small voice, I was aware I was not alone. Every morning, as I prayed on the deck, eagles would keep me company. Not one, not two, but a whole nest! I felt comforted knowing I was not alone in the space, as I sought discernment about the future.

 

Seven years ago, when I was overwhelmed by the threats, hatred and condemnation that I received after my election as bishop, Robin and I came to Nova Scotia to visit my uncle. We went for a drive and as I was driving, I began to cry silent tears. I just didn’t think I had the strength to go on as bishop. I love this ministry, I love the people of the Mountain Sky, and I love The United Methodist Church, but I just didn’t think I could take one more step. I felt empty and scared.

 

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something coming towards us. It was an eagle! It flew right past my window and then flew ahead of me, directly at eye level, and led me as I drove for a couple of miles! And then, without me touching my phone, this song from my playlist began to play:

 

Hold me close

Let Your love surround me

Bring me near

Draw me to Your side.

And as I wait

I'll rise up like the eagle

And I will soar with You

Your Spirit leads me on

In the power of Your love.

 

(from The Power of Your Love by Geoff Bullock. You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jZ_ZkMYUsc)

 

It was in that moment that I knew God was with me, and with power and grace would give me what I needed to serve faithfully. When I returned home after that visit, I felt God’s strength empowering me and guiding me.

 

How right, in this last summer of active ministry, God provides me with companions to remind me of God’s presence and power. Mick Jagger sang it best: “We don’t always get what we want, but we get what we need.”

 

This summer, I received a blessing I didn’t even know I needed. I am returning to the Mountain Sky with joy and anticipation of all that is before us, knowing that in all things, we will be lifted up on the wings of the Holy Spirit.

 

Let’s do this!

We Don't Always Get What We Want...

 

My mother died unexpectedly this spring. This season has been filled with so many memories that she made for us. She made it so very special. Each year, the neighbors knew the holiday season had started when my mother strung these red plastic bells outside the house. And then she decorated, making many of the decorations herself, including a large creche scene she made which is now one of the first things I unpack every year.

She’d fill the house with fresh cut boughs, so we looked like an indoor forest. The smell was divine.

But every year she would say the same thing: It’s been a rough year, don’t be disappointed on Christmas morning.

She was a single mother of three girls and worked hard to keep a rough over our head. So we all prepared ourselves for a lean Christmas.

And then, Christmas morning would dawn, and my sisters and I were always so stunned at all the presents that overflowed from beneath the Christmas tree.

Lean Christmas?! It never looked lean!

And then we would unwrap our gifts. There would be sock and underwear from JC Penney’s. A new nightgown from Woolworths. Gloves and scarfs and hats. A sweater knitted by an aunt. A new pair of Grandma Spence’s knitted slippers. Oranges in our stockings. And also a couple of toys or games that were on our Christmas wish list.

It never felt like a lean Christmas. We might not have been given everything on our list. But we were given what we needed. And there was so much love and joy as we unwrapped our gifts and held them up for everyone to see.

I didn’t realize it then, but my mother was teaching us a lot about Christmas. At Christmas, as the Gospel of Mick Jagger would tell us, we don’t always get what we want. We get what we need.

I think of what people were yearning for at the time of Jesus’ birth. The Hebrew people were tired of being oppressed. The scriptures had promised them a Savior, a Messiah who would bring them liberation. They were waiting for that wonderful, counselor, mighty God.

That’s what they wanted. But what did they get?

A baby, wrapped in a manger. This is how God came to be with us and offer liberation. Emmanuel. God with us.

The Savior didn’t come in the way many had hoped for.

The Savior came defenseless and vulnerable. God with us required tenderness, kindness and care. What a strange way to come to free the oppressed. What a crazy way to bring righteousness and justice to a broken world.

Yet, this is exactly what he brought us. If we could only follow the lessons he brought us.

Pull out your Christmas wish list. What is it you are wanting this Christmas?

Now, take a look at it again. What is it you need this Christmas?

May this Christmas you find growing within you renewed hope.  An increase in your love of God and neighbor. A tenderness that you have never felt before. And may you express all this with generous kindness and care.

How silently, how silently the wondrous gift is given

So God imparts to human hearts all blessings found in heaven.

As we listen for the voices of angels and watch for the star, may we find Christ being born once more in our lives and in our world and may God give you what you need this Christmas.